What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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