are you so shy because you have an std?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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