they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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