i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
