This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We are two peas in an std pod
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
