Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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