whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
