She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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