Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
