the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
