you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
