You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
