If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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