i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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