Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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