How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
