I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
