never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
