well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
