saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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