Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I need moral support for this bender
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
