Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
