I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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