Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
