Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
