Sorry, I don't speak sober.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
