Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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