I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Randomize
