If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
