That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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