and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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