just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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