You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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