I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
