i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
