is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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