it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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