Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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