You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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