You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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