This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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