I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
