He is an equal opportunity slut.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
