There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
