Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
