Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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