her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
