she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
