They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
