I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
