i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
