i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
