Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
